Ive played some bad fucking games in my time working at The Insatiable Gamer. I don’t usually mind it, as it’s usually pretty funny and I always have something to talk about. This game is different though. I think Wild Island Quest is by far the worst game I have ever had to review. There is absolutely nothing even remotely redeeming about the game. I don’t even know where to begin.

Wild Island Quest is a text-based adventure, where players read the text on-screen and pick what they want to do from the listed options. The goal of the game is unclear, but there is some sort of Wild Island that has dangerous inhabitants and the protagonist wants to go there for some reason. There is also a luck mechanic, whereby the game rolls a dice for you, and that number determines certain events that happen in the game.

The first thing you’ll notice about Wild Island Quest is the poor graphics, with no animation whatsoever, just still images that are lacking any personal input. Sound is a fairly important aspect of any medium, so of course Wild Island Quest┬áhad to go and have the worst sound design I’ve ever heard. The soundtrack is a 5 second loop of the most generic open license sounding song. To make matters worse the sound effects also loop, which drove me insane as the constant sounds of generic footsteps and page-turning is played over and over and over again. The menu is, you guessed it, a default bland green text in a box. There’s absolutely nothing to the menu system and it felt slapped into place with minimal effort. With a little effort put into the sound and menus, this game may have had a few saving graces…

What about the story? Surely the story at least will be interesting, it is text-based after all. Spoilers, it’s not. Firstly, it seems as if the game was written in a different language and then translated poorly into English, with a better storyline or a better translating effort this game may have been more bearable. Everything is just so incredibly bizarre. You live in a place called Mech-City, with a floating Wild Island. It desperately tries to give character to the world but with the poor graphics and poor storyline it falls flat. I wish there were accurate ways to describe in words the utter confusion generated when reading the game but hopefully looking at the screenshots is more than enough.

Unfortunately with little gameplay, poor storyline and even poorer sound tracks. The one saving grace is that some of the decisions you make actually matter, and you can end up dying which means an easy way out of having to continue this game.

This is a game. On Steam. For $2.00. It came out in 2015. Don’t waste your time on this. Buy a cheeseburger instead.

 

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Pros

  • None

Cons

  • Everything

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